Stoke 0 Boro (1) 2
27/06/20 3pm Chsp
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A poor day for Stoke just got worse. A 0-2 defeat to relegation rivals Middlesbrough, rival sides all picked up points, & Nick Powell got red carded & suspended. Who saw this coming? How did thIs awful game unfold? Well, here’s how this debacle came about in real time:
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Thankfully the heatwave has broken – yesterday it was like playing in the Mexico World Cup! The bet365 looks good, the terraces adorned with flags (instead of what could have been cutouts of Nick Hancock). After I cheekily suggested at the press conference that Michael O’Neill was planning a number of changes, sure enough he makes THREE, starting Tommy Smith, James McClean and Danny Batth instead of belatedly bringing them on as subs. But let’s face it, this is a 6-pointer against a side that Pulis had in the play-offs last season. Things are so bad they’ve hired Neil Warnock this week. Yes, that bad.
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0.05 Boro trying the old launch-an-attack-down-the-left-straight-from-the-kick-off routine…and the ball flies limply over them all for a throw. A Warnock cliche.
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6.25 As Thompson curls the ball wide, it’s time to notice Tommy Smith’s haircut after last week’s alarming perm.
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7.20 Worst free-kick of the season by Boro…again over everyone’s heads. Is everything over Boro’s heads?
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10.27 After Nick Powell is clattered & recovers, Clucas collapses with a bleeding knee. Is this the Warnock factor?
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21.00 McClean’s volley brings out a save in the Boro keeper, but just as Stoke pressure Boro with 3 corners in a row, the ref calls for a water break. Damn it!
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28.50 0-1 !!! Fletcher flicks his header in the corner of the net from a free-kick from the right. No wonder MON has been doing his nut on the touchline.
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31.00 Fletcher almost makes it 2-0 (offside) or 3-0 (ball flashes across the area). Powell then gets clipped again, like he’s being targeted.
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40.19 Ince on for Sorensen! Things so ropey that Ince is called for BEFORE half-time. Lasse certainly a weak link today.
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45+1 Powell is AGAIN flattened, this time by the Boro keeper. If this was a boxing match, they’d be throwing the towel in.
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45+5 HT Stoke 0 Boro 1 – and Michael O’Neill sprints to the dressing room…the players not moving there so quickly. Nor would I if I’d performed like that.
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45.35 Stoke players look shell-shocked from MON’s hair-dryer treatment, and go charging through the Boro defence, only for McClean to blast the ball into the keeper’s crotch.
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49.40 McClean’s header comes back off the post. I didn’t know he could head the ball! Not in that head-band.
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52.00 Worst throw-in ever – limp-wristed Martins Indi lets the ball flop out of his hands for a foul throw! Get a grip!
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56.50 Chester makes a decent tackle! Break out the bunting!!
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57.45 Swapping the Jordans, Cousins on for Thompson. Vokes also on for limp-wristed Martins Indi.
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61.20 0-2 !!! A deflected shot by sub Tavernier beats Butland from distance. He’s only been on the pitch a few minutes. That’s Tavernier, not Butland. Stoke certainly looking green, in all senses of the word.
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66.10 Powell with a clear shot in the box…but it’s beaten away. 40 seconds later he has another shot saved. 70% possession and nothing to show for it.
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75.15 Batth clearly taking one in the groin, showing the most painful expression a man can give.
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78.35 Campbell is replaced by Lee Gregory. Last throw of the dice for MON.
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80.00 Even ex-Stoke Ryan Shotton is brought on to rub salt in the wound.
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88.20 Nick Powell handing out some of the punishment he’s been receiving all afternoon. Yellow card.
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88.48 Nick Powell is red carded! For another foul. Suspension. Can’t get any worse now.
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90+1 The best players for Stoke this afternoon are playing for Birmingham, who have come back to 3-3 vs Stoke-rivals Hull.
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90+3 Ince finally gets his chance to blast the ball wide.
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90+5 Thank goodness that’s over. 10-man-Stoke 0 Boro 2. Stoke back on the relegation menu!