Stoke City crash out of Carabao Cup by 1-2

Brentford clung on to their first half lead, with Stoke nearly turning them over at the end. City leave the Carabao with their heads held high, but here’s how it unfolded in real time:

–

It’s the 5-changes side (Stoke) vs the 8-changes side (Premier Brentford). the odd-couple Fetcher & Tyrese up front, and the glory-boys Harry-Ben-Leo at the back. Duhaney starts at right back, with Alfie playing…well, somewhere in the middle…or up front… Hm.

–

5.01 Away fans reckon the bet365 is too big for Stoke. Tonight is very sparsely attended. Despite only a third full at most, the fans are not socially distanced but crammed together!!

–

10.31 Tyrese beats his man just like the old days! But his flick doesn’t reach Fletch. Rusty legs.

–

16.55 Ostigard caught flat!! He fouls Tomey, who jumps up and takes a quick free-kick whilst Leo is still complaining and raising his hands to his head and to god. Thankfully, the resulting shot goes wide, but Leo comes out of it looking really daft.

–

20.30 Leo makes up for it by blocking a shot in front of goal. Bursik saves the rebound.

–

21.20 0-1 !! Sergi Canos scores from the resulting corner after Harry & Ben fail to clear, and the shot this time goes straight through Leo Oystercard. “That’s why we’re premier league!” sing the away fans. Stoke struggling to get to penalties at this rate.

–

28.42 Tyrese & Fletch queuing up to shoot, but it’s Steven who brings out a save from keeper Fernandez.

–

35.50 Fancy footwork by Harry almost results in him being tripped. The ref waves it on playing the advantage, but with a look to say, “smartass!”.

–

38.15 Fletcher puts in an inch-perfect tackle on Jensen, only for the ref to say his boot was raised. Yes, it was, because that was where the ball was!!! What sort of stupid game is this??

–

39.55 0-2 !! Ball drifts to Tomey, who puts it away with ease inside the near post. Defence dozing.

–

45+1 HT 5-changes 0 8-changes 2

–

49.15 After a good passing move, Jensen misses a sitter. No sympathy.

–

Attendance: 9584

–

55.15 Vrancic on for Doughty, who’s looked a little lost, to be frank.

–

56.48 1-2 !! Sawyers blasts in from the edge of the area from a Vrancic corner. Brentford have been time-wasting, and now we know why. Keeper Fernandez is the worst offender, and the ref has his eye on him now.

–

62.30 Sima and Surridge on for Tyrese and Fletch.

–

68.10 Brentford fans so worried that they start chanting “Come on Brentford!” Like it’s the 1940s!

–

77.50 Jorgensen is testing the ref’s patience taking ages over his “long” throws. Time wasting yellow cards coming out. Brentford having to bring on their big-guns to settle the matter.

–

81.01 Ince for Thompson, and Jake Brown for Oystercard. The forwards are on. It’s make…or break!

–

82.40 As Duhaney gives away the daftest of corners, the camera focuses in on the aghast face of Michael O’Neill. Funniest moment of the match.

–

85.10 Amazing save by Bursik from breaking Tomey, rebounds are blocked then sent skywards.

–

90+2 Great save by Bursik again, this time from breaking Henry. Tomey then goes down, but despite looking near to death, makes a miraculous recovery.

–

FT Brentford hold on, winning 2-1. Hm. When does the FA Cup start?!