HomeFeaturedLocal SportAppalling Stoke beaten by inept Huddersfield in dire 0-1 game

Appalling Stoke beaten by inept Huddersfield in dire 0-1 game

This must surely be Nathan Jones’ last game for Stoke, reduced to losing at home to the poorest side in the league. If Crawley was their modern-day Blyth Spartans, then this is their modern-day Wigan debacle. Here is the final whistle audio report:

Well, this is it! The game we’ve all been waiting for. No, not Luton, not The Baggies, and not the next round of the Carabao Cup. No, it’s bottom club vs perspective bottom club. We’re not allowed to call it a 6-pointer – Robyn Cowan (Radio5live) is beside me desperately trying not to say it. Hoping to turn the tide for stoke are returning Federici in goal, Danny “IronMan” Batth and returning from the naughty step is new captain Joe Allen. Tom Ince will pretend to be a striker, Carter-Vic will pretend to be a right back, and Badou Ndiaye will pretend not to be injured. With Jack off the pitch it falls to Joe to do something silly tonight. It must be tricky coming up with new ways of chucking 3 points. Will they run out of ideas…and actually win??
1.24 Stoke corner leaves two Town players floored. That’s more like it.
3.02 Badou gets early tap on ankle by Brown, who couldn’t possibly know that he injured it last Friday.
4.21 Town miss a sitter! Kachunga passes it sideways instead of shooting point-blank. No wonder they’re 2nd bottom. Laughable, and that’s just Indi slipping on his arse in the build up.
9.45 As Lee Gregory feigns injury to gain time, McClean changes his boots to bright blue ones! Game restarts with Stoke with only 9 men! McClean wins a throw-in and a corner in quick succession. The new boots are working.
13.41 Ince does his off-target long-ranger. And then Badou goes down with an unexpected ankle injury after a kick on the ankle. Surprise, everyone.
30.01 Huddersfield are genuinely-genuinely poor. We’re really going to have to dig deep in order to concoct a unique way to lose to this shambles. Pulis is on Sky, I hear, backing his fellow Welshman. Just the sort of backing Nathan needs.
43.20 Unmarked Joe Allen heads over from a Carter-Vic cross. Just about to lay into Carter-Vic for passing back all the time. What a waste of spa-….oh, what a great cross!
45+4 HT: Somehow this game fails to produce a goal. Bottom 0 2nd-bottom 0. What a shambles.
47.35 Carter-Vic finds the ball at his feet and shoots!!! OK, it’s just over, but everyone’s just bloody amazed to be fair.
Attendance: 20,372. I think it’s on TV under the red button. Is this the lowest league attendance since…2008?
57.15 Etebo goes down in the box. I was convinced. Ref wasn’t. But then what would we do with a penalty?
59.15 Tyrese on for Ince. It was clear that Ince wasn’t a striker afterall. Meanwhile, Frazier Campbell comes off as Tyrese Campbell comes on…
72.25 Tyrese is set up by cool Lee Gregory, but his shot is wide. Guess where this is going? You’ll see.
78.01 Lee Gregory tries to flick the ball home. Never going to happen.
80.45 Powell on for Gregory. Is Powell a striker now?
81.45 0-1 ! Huddersfield burst through to blast past Federici. It’s the sub Bacuna. Not had a shot on goal all day. Nathan just stands and stares into the abyss. Huddersfield celebrate like they’ve won the cup…etc
86.12 Duffy on for Allen. Sublime to the ridiculous.
90+7 Stoke stay bottom beaten by the worst club in the league. Stoke 0 Town 1 Nathan nothing left to give.

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