HomeFeaturedLocal SportRusty Stoke City taken out by Rams 1-2

Rusty Stoke City taken out by Rams 1-2

Stoke 1 Derby 2 30 Dec 2021 7.45

Rusty Stoke were undone by feisty Rams, who clearly looked like a side playing regularly. City looked under the weather. A goal for Ince…and that’s about it. “A yard short,” reckons Michael O’Neill. May be more than that. Here’s how the game unfolded in real time:

Bewilderingly, Derby players have just ambled on to the pitch without waiting for their cue!! They’re going to be awkward, I can tell. Jacob Brown and Tyrese Campbell are the dream-team up front for Stoke, Surridge-Ince is the nightmare scenario on the bench! Derby playing in weedy Man City blue.
1.03 Batth dawdling. Keeper Adam Davies has to come running out to show off some skill. Rooney & O’Neill are playing statues in their technical areas. MON is winning, although he might just have fallen asleep on his feet. Already.
6.35 Incredible point-blank save by Davies, the ball bouncing off his head! Ok, so it was offside, still looked impressive. Conversely, keeper Ryan Allsop topples over into his own defender, and the ref stops play to see if he’s alright! Clearly delicate.
12.15 Good cross by Josh Tymon, but unbelievably Jagielka fails to put in his own net! He’s done it often enough against Stoke!
15.39 0-1 !! Well, worked goal down the middle, although final ball by Luke Plange goes through/under Davies, much to his frustration. (Luke Plange is surely one of those fake names they phone up Farage and GB News with…? No?)
20.20 Joe Allan playing a long ball in the same style as Charlie Adam. I miss him.
32.01 Stoke’s team reads like a set of characters from a 1950s Ealing Comedy: Mr Smith, Mr Brown, Mr Davies, Mr Campbell, Mr Allan, Mr Fox, Mr Wilmot, Mr Chester, Mr Fletcher, Capt Oakley-Boothe, Colonel Wright-Phillips… Derby are Jozwiak, Plange & Roos (a dodgy firm of solicitors!). Just saying.
45+1 HT 0-1. Just not happening for Stoke.
Attendance 22,235. Unbelievable, given all the COVID warnings/inspections.
50.50 Penalty not given has Derby practically shovel the ball up their jumper! The player clearly gets an advantage, but the ref reckons it was more chest than arm. Replay inconclusive.
54.15 Mr Fletcher on for Mr Brown. bit early for this sort of thing…?
70.10 Ince on for Mr Fox. Didn’t know he was playing. Honestly.
70.50 Josh is booked for innocuous challenge. He protests in disbelief. Subsequent free kick is curtailed after 1.5 seconds for a a foul on a Stoke player!! Shortest the ball’s actually been in play.
73.45 Stoke players all being too courteous in the area, almost allowing Derby to score! Luckily, they’re just as useless.
77.10 1-1 !!! After a corner falls nicely for Tom Ince, he smashes home through a crowd of ex-teammates! Derby fans look miserable. Stoke’s first shot on target.
79.20 Wilmot’s back pass is so firm & precise that it bounces off a startled Davies for a corner.
80.35 Davies then blasts a pass into touch. Oh dear.
84.01 1-2!! Clucas loses ball, & Derby’s Kazim-Richards finishes easily.
86.55 Surridge on for sorry Clucas.
90+5 Stoke lose 1-2, look rusty & spent. Busy January coming up!!!

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