Stoke (2) 2 Luton 0 – 8/11/22 7.45
Stoke blitzed Nathan Jones’ Luton in the first quarter hour, then toyed with them for the rest of the game. If only things were always this easy. Luton’s defence looked as holy as Stoke’s did when Jones was manager. This was Karma, I suppose. Here’s how the game unfolded in real time:
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This is all about whether Alex Neil realises this is the Celtic v Rangers game of the season. It’s not just another game. Nathan Jones DESPERATELY WANTS TO WIN THIS!!! And he’s not leaving till he does! OK, so the game is supposed to be about the return (after 14 months) of Harry Souttar in defence (replacing Jagielka). But FIVE other changes, including keeper Bonham replacing Bursik (like the sublime to the ridiculous!) are also distracting us.
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2.22 1-0 !!!! Powell has the easiest header (from Fox on the left) he’ll EVER have. Nathan will have kittens (although in fact he just stands looking on in disbelief!!). Just laughable. Even the kittens are guffawing at this nonsense.
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8.55 Before a corner, unnecessarily given away by Wilmot, the ref wants a word with little Allan Campbell and his marker Fosu. Campbell struts around like he’s got fleas. Very undignified.
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12.51 2-0 !!! Fox crosses again, but this time Capt Tom Lockyer heads past his keeper under pressure from Delap!!! Am i at the right ground?? The home side is winning!!! Even weirder, Fox is playing rather well!!
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14.40 Supporters happy to chant “Your football is s***, Nathan Jones, your football is s***”. And “How s*** must you be, we’re winning at home!”
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31.59 And Carlton Morris, the big broad centre forward, has a golden opportunity, but hits it straight into the arms of Bonham. Truly laughable. he spends the next 90 seconds looking at his bright yellow boots as if to say, “Are these mine?” Maybe, but why did you spill custard on them?
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37.01 With ex-Stokies Cameron Jerome and Alfie Doughty (not even good enough for Luton) on the bench, attention is drawn to the fact that Town’s No.17 is called Pelly-Ruddock Mpanzu. Also, why is Luton’s keeper Harry Isted allowed to wear the same colour as his outfield players.
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39.15 Luton supporters wake up as a decision goes their way. “It’s a miracle!” (To the tune of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep!). Meanwhile, Amari’i Bell somehow stays on the pitch after hauling down Delap in an appalling off the ball incident. The replay is particularly damning.
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44.01 After Capt Lockyer’s day gets worse, getting booked, Jordan Clark handles the ball, and blasts the ball away after the whistle has gone. A yellow card all over, but he somehow escapes. Nathan’s lot not up for this.
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HT Nath’s old club 2 Nath’s older club 0
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Attendance a measly 18,095. I blame Nathan. Everyone blames Nathan.
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51.30 Somehow Adebayo gets away without giving away a penalty, but then Jordan Clark finally gets yellowed seconds later. If he’d been yellowed in the 1st half…
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57.22 Capt Lockyer’s day goes from bad to worse as he misses an open goal on the volley, hitting the post.
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64.35 Morris’s day goes from bad to worse as his challenge on Powell is high, which the replay clearly shows. A little unfortunate perhaps, but he’s still yellowed.
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68.12 Nathan Jones rapidly applauds a useless cross from the left to nobody. God knows how he will react if Luton win a throw!! God not currently available for comment.
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72.34 Fox so cocky now that he attempts a shot from distance that ends up well into the stand. Not as bad as Fosu’s earlier volley that went up vertically.
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75.25 Jacob Brown comes on for Gayle….and is yellow carded exactly 2 minutes later!!!
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78.30 Cameron Jerome and Alfie Doughty come on!!!
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84.30 Delap larking about one minute, then blasting a shot that’s tipped over the bar the next minute.
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85.52 A standing ovation for Powell as he’s replaced by Josh Tymon. Not sure what the plan is here. So many other choices like Wright-Phillips. Maybe he just wants to get Josh fit.
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90+5 Crowd try a “How bad must you be, he’s wingeing again!” Stoke win 2-0. Nathan gets booed off by City fans, & applauded off by Town’s.
