HomeFeaturedLocal SportStoke City see red in crazy Barnsley draw

Stoke City see red in crazy Barnsley draw

Stoke 1 Barnsley 1 – 15/9/21 7.45

How Stoke didn’t win this barmy game: goals, thrills, crazy goalkeeping, a penalty, a red card, a group barney off the pitch…blimey. Here’s how this chaos unfolded in real time:

Stoke will go top if they win…and Fulham don’t…or if both win and Stoke score 8 more than Fulham…and concede fewer…or something like that To achieve this, Captain Joe Allen is back, and new signing Abdallah Sima joins the bench. Worryingly, the cavalry will NOT be coming tonight; ie. Fletch isn’t even on the bench as he’s injured.
4.04 As Ben Wilmot intimidates Tikes Captain Woodrow, it occurs to me where I’ve seen Ben before. He’s Loki in the Marvel superhero series. He’s Tom Hiddleston’s son!! Tom is 40, Ben is 21. It all fits!! Hm, maybe not…
11.22 As Frieser seems clean through, Harry uses his 8-foot long leg to hook the ball clear, much to the surprise of the Barnsley striker.
16.19 1-0!!! Smith crosses from the right, it goes straight through the poor defender Helik, and it’s easy for Sam Surridge to lash home! Stoke should be top, but Fulham have just scored too!!! Damn.
19.10 Keeper Collins looks to handle outside the box, but that’s nothing compared to Callum Brittain pulling Brown over by his shirt neck. Disgraceful. Brittain is yellow carded, but the replay makes it look like a red. Dangerous.
24.12 Surridge gets another chance from the right (from Smith, after great work by Sawyers), but this time Sam fluffs it.
29.10 Ball disappears into crowd, and is eventually given to a young lad. It’s probably burst. The new ball is used for a drop-ball. Bit confused by all this… The Barnsley players all have the word WHOOP on their backs above their name. I thought they all had the same Christian name!
37.08 1-1 !! Brilliant free-kick by Capt Whoop Woodrow (conceded by Capt Joe), right in the top corner. Joe Bursik had little chance. Wall should have done better though.
45+02 Penalty!!! Surridge is toppled after the slightest touch by keeper Whoop Collins after Sam pushes the ball past him. However, Super Mario Vrancic’s penalty kick is straight down the middle, which Collins touches on to the bar. It’s a farce!! Collins must have known Mario was going to put it there as he didn’t even dive, just waited for the shot right at him.
HT 1-1, but it should be 2-1!!
Attendance 17,832
50.55 Vrancic’s superb corner from the right almost fools Whoop Collins. I bet Brad didn’t study Mario’s corners as well as his penalties.
54.53 Volley by Surridge is saved by Whoop! He’s really earning his corn tonight.
59.25 Double save by Whoop Collins, from a header by Brown and then a chance for Surridge. A certain goal normally. Now Whoop is heading the ball clear. Multi-talented.
72.07 Sam Clucas comes on for Capt Joe. Not sure what other options MON (O’Neill) has.
75.10 Abdallah Sima debuts replacing Jacob Brown. Maybe that was his other option.
76.05 Clucas’s header is a yard wide from a superb cross from Tymon. How did he miss?
79.35 Collins saves brilliantly from Surridge after another brilliant cross by Josh. Another certain goal! What is that octopus on??
84.05 Red Card for Tom Smith for overshooting a tackle on Whoop Gomes. Replay is definitely not clear on this, but it doesn’t look like a red. Gomes milks it for all it’s worth. Stoke fans vent their spleen at ref Doughty (no relation).
86.01 Surridge replaced by a shorn Alfie Doughty. Sima ploughs up front on his own now.
89.30 Excellent! The Barnsley bench won’t throw the ball back, so Stoke coaches go and get it. Suddenly there’s a ruck that goes on and on! Barnsley coach plus Stoke coaches (including Rory Delap) are red carded!!!!! Fourth official clearly to blame! How did he let that get out of hand?!
Oh, and the game fizzles out at 1-1. Stoke 5th. That’ll do, donkey, that’ll do.

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