Toothless Stoke City gain point at Rooney’s Derby

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The walking wounded return for City, that’s skeletal Steven Fletcher and Harry Souttar, with the bonus of stocky Jordan “powerhouse” Thompson in the engine room. Naughty McClean is suspended, Tyrese injured, and Smith inexplicably not included. Can’t think why as there’s only 8 named subs, instead of 9. “Cracker” Smith could at least have carried the kit. Meanwhile, Derby’s Wayne Rooney is trying to dig the club out of the mire.

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1.55 Michael O’Neill has a heart attack as Nathan Collins collapses after a challenge. MON can’t afford to lose any more players. Stoke having to defend.

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7.21 Great save by Bursik from a shot by Tom Lawrence from distance.

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8.05 Powell takes his first clattering…followed just after by Jacob Brown taking one too. MON grinding his teeth, no doubt. A result in this game won’t just involve points. Healthy bodies will also be required.

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17.50 Colin Kazim-Richards bursts through, but is thankfully offside. Thankful, as in he blasts his shot over as Bursik spreads himself wide.

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22.07 As Kazim bursts through again & rounds the keeper Bursik, his shot is amazingly saved on the line by James Chester – the best thing he’s done all season. Shows he’s got his fitness back…?

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30.51 Derby keeper David Marshall so bored that he’s 2/3rd up the pitch for a free-kick!

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35.30 Stoke’s first real attempt on goal, a Collins cross fluffed by Fletcher. Stoke haven’t done anything else this half apart from defend.

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HT Dominating Derby 0 Stuttering Stoke 0

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48.08 Stoke actually coming forward! Until Fox launches a cross into orbit.

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53.02 Stoke cock-up a set piece, but they continue to attack and are now getting the ball into Derby’s box. So far the complete opposite to the first half!

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61.36 A frustrated Jozwiak belts the ball full-tilt into the stand after the whistle has gone, narrowly missing me. Fox now has a bandaged head. Maybe he connected with him first?

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65.08 NO PENALTY! Buchanan down, but ref thinks he’s dived…but then doesn’t give a 2nd yellow…and gives a drop ball!! Weird. Ref must have changed his mind. During a break in play, he comes to explain his decision to a baying Derby bench.

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70.44 Cousins booked for what looked like a clean tackle. The resulting free kick is richly convoluted and doesn’t work, although the ball eventually flashes across Stoke’s 6 yard box. Derby have retaken the initiative.

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76.25 Tom Ince on for Thompson. This could make or break Stoke’s game.

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81.03 Great save by Bursik from a bouncing headed corner.

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82.42 Oakley Boothe on for Fletcher. Ince no doubt will now push forward…?

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90+ 4 Stoke waste 2 free kicks , failing to get the ball inn the box. Rory will be fuming.

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FT Derby 0 Stoke 0. Thank goodness a crowd didn’t get to see this!