Stoke 0 Watford 4 – 2/10/22 12 noon
Stoke were swept aside by a rampant Watford, resurrected yet again by new-manager-syndrome. Alex Neil looked on despairingly as his defence fell apart, with Watford by far the more determined side. Not expecting to see most of this side starting next week. Here’s how this debacle unfolded in real time:
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Sunday at 12? Fans rushing in from church in order to make it on time?! Watford fans rushing out to see yet another new manager…well, no, actually, the new manager Slaven Bilic hasn’t affected sales of away tickets at all, it seems. Maybe a new manager next week might help. Joe Bursik plays through the pain of a tragic bereavement (despite Jacky Bonham’s return to fitness…to be left on the bench). But the big news is new signing Dujon Sterling (shaking off any signs of an ankle injury) and starting with returning Josh Laurent. Bilic comes along, sits down, and doesn’t even get up to shake Alex Neil’s hand. Oh well.
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2.50 Good to see ex-Stoke Daniel Bachmann again, keeping for Watford. Bilic has come out from his hidey-hole to see what’s going on. Even puts his glasses on.
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7.10 Watford fans already bored enough to ask if this is a library. Not in the UK, guys. All closed due to cuts. Keep up!
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9.30 As Flint heads wide, it’s interesting to see 4th official James Bell policing the technical area, often standing right in front of Alex Neil. Curious.
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11.34 0-1 ! Brilliant goal. Kamara with all the left side to himself, crosses to Ismailia Sarr to head home. Replay shows a hint of offside, but hard to prove! Sky TV viewers & commentators seem to think it was offside. Oh dear. Meanwhile Jamie Bell is still stalking Neil as if he’s a wanted criminal! Watford fans reckon a manager will be sacked in the morning, but it’s really unclear which one! They seem to be referencing Watford’s swing-door-for-managers.
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13.20 Tariqe Fosu picks up an unnecessary yellow card, unnecessary as in he ran off arrogantly from the scene of the crime. If he’d stayed and protested or helped up the player he’d felled, he’d have got away with that!
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22.05 Keeper Bachmann blots his copybook spectacularly live on TV! Delap just catches him as he jumps over diving Daniel, who flaps around on the ground like he’s been plugged into the electricity!!!! What is he doing?? What an idiot! Crowd mocking him relentlessly.
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23.40 Watford hit the post from a great header by Sarr. Watford continue to press as City’s defence fumble. Finally City break, and ref has reason to chat to Delap, who has the cheekiest grin that I’ve ever seen on a player. Ref capitulates understandably.
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31.08 YELLOW CARD FOR BACHMANN, partly for wasting time on a free kick, and partly for shouting like a banshee to nobody in particular. Either he’s having a breakdown, or he’s just gone a bit odd due to being live on Sky TV. I’ve never seen behaviour like it on a football pitch in all my 60 years of watching football…(continued on page 83)…
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39.50 Delap waltzes down the left, but his dinky cross to unmarked Gayle loops over the bar. This is not going well.
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45+1 Flint gets booked after giving a hard (but fair) tackle, but probably is penalised for “afters”. What he should’ve done is roll around the floor whilst plugged into 240volts…
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HT Stoke 0 Watford Electric Company 1
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45.58 Somehow it’s not 0-2 as Sierralta heads just over when it seemed easier…etc…etc. Bachmann then actually makes a save from a Baker free kick.
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Attendance 19905, as Asprilla is booked for frustratingly kicking the ball the furthest away ever seen on a football pitch. What is going on?!
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51.45 Delap then yellowed, not for the foul, but the torrent of abuse he hurls at ref Josh Smith. So much for the cheeky grin!
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63.35 0-2 !! Chances to scramble the ball clear are missed by poor Bursik and Wilmot, and Ken Sema somehow manages to squeeze the ball home.
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66.01 Sierralta is booked for felling Delap, however, the replay is very damning for Francisco, and it could easily have been a red! Meanwhile, Gayle tries an overhead kick to little avail.
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72.01 Tyrese Campbell on for bicycle Gayle. God knows what Alex Neil is making of this.
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76.45 Fox concedes the most unnecessary free kick ever, followed by Harry Clarke’s return on the left for Sterling.
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77.59 0-3 !!! Stoke defence torn apart, as Keinan Davis blasts past Bursik from a narrow angle. No one is in the least bit surprised.
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79.34 Watford miss a sitter for 4-0!! Who else but Louza, who shows he can be a bit of a loser! He blasts wide as Flint makes it sooo easy for Watford.
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83.17 0-4 !!! Sub Vakoun Bayo ghosts in at the back post to blast home. Watford fans call for 5!
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89.30 This Watford tongue-in-cheek chant “sacked in the morning”, aimed at the Watford personnel as they change the manager so often, is not sounding pleasant for Alex Neil.
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90+3 FT 0-4 to the Electric Company.
