Stoke (1) 4 Reading 0 – 21/1/23 3pm
Stoke deservedly obliterated a truly awful Reading side without really getting out of 2nd gear. Smallbone, Campbell, Brown & Gayle’s arse got the goals. Even Reading manager Paul Ince was embarrassed by that. Here’s how this remarkable Stoke win unfolded in real time:
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With loan players leaving left right and centre (or wherever Jacob Brown chooses to play), Stoke field a transitional side…which means Harry Clarke & Fosu are gone, but Gayle returns and Flint is back on the bench from oblivion. Souttar has a mysterious injury, and Tom Ince has turned up for Reading to annoy us. What’s not to enjoy?
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8.53 Fox takes out Laurent as well as Reading Capt Yiadom. Morgan just doesn’t seem to care.
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10.04 1-0!! Smallbone slides home from the edge of the box after Reading give the ball away on Stoke’s left. Tyrese slips it to Will to plant in the corner. And after all I said against the Smallbone kid!
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11.48 Ex-Stokie Tom Ince takes a tumble and somehow gets a free kick. The crowd DO NOT LIKE HIM! His free kick is FEEBLE, straight into the wall, and the Stoke crowd come alive with merriment!
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18.20 Another feeble effort by Tom Ince that lands gently into the arms of Bonham. Oh joy!
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23.50 Baba Rahman seems to have it in for Stoke’s Jacob Brown, flattening him twice in two minutes. City starting to look threatening in front of goal, whilst Tom Ince having another ‘mare at the bet365. You could have bet your shirt on that.
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39.52 Either there’s a weird ghostly mist floating in from the west, or my car is on fire. Strange.
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41.45 After Josh Laurent (having a reasonable game, I have to admit) fails to get a free kick, Stoke defender fails to stop Yiadom getting a shot on target. Bonham copes decently, but then it is fired right at him.
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HT 1-0, surprisingly!
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47.45 Gayle throws himself to the ground in the box very theatrically! Frankly laughable.
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Attendance 19157, bolstered by a small posse of Reading fans. They might get lost in the mist and get eaten by Zombies! Very cold.
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56.12 2-0 !!! Tyrese latches on to the ball just outside the box, and hits a left-footer into the near corner. Home fans suggest that Reading must be pretty poor to allow Stoke to be winning at home! Very true. Reading are pitiful.
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65.55 Sterling on for Tyrese Campbell, with Brown moving up front. But still Stoke look lively!
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74.40 Josh Tymon is having a quiet day on the left. So he hauls a player to the ground to allow Tom Ince have something to do. But not do it well.
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77.50 Bizarrely music from a Hobgoblin advert starts playing in the stadium. The crowd join in and boo when it is suddenly terminated.
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79.15 3-0 !! Tymon finally has something to do, crossing for Jacob Brown to blunder in at the far post. Reading are SSOOOOOOO POOOOOOORRRRR!!!
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82.25 4-0 !! Laurent is encouraged to shoot, but it deflects off Gayle’s back (arse?!) past the keeper. Gayle & Smallbone immediately replaced by Tezgel and Jordan Thompson.
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89.30 Tom Ince makes an appalling pass forward. What an abysmal player.
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90+3 Ref reckons Reading can’t take anymore! Stoke win by 4-0 for first time since 2020.
